Healing postpartum through menstruation
Life on the other side of birth is an intense process of adjustment and becoming. Although we're collectively raising awareness about this forgotten rite of passage, in reality, most women, through no fault of their own continue to be caught off guard - it's no surprise when motherhood continues to be undervalued and misrepresented.
This reality can leave mothers feeling disappointment, anger and even grief about their own experience.
Remarkably it’s possible to heal these unseen wounds through our own bodies - specifically in connection with the menstrual cycle.
If you were to overlay the conception/pregnancy/postpartum cycle with the menstrual cycle, postpartum and menstruation would be aligned in their qualities and energy. Both are 'winter' seasons, a time to turn inward, for deep nourishment, to connect or reconnect with your own intuition, a time to keep warm, to be cocooned, to ground yourself with rituals and routines that feel good.
They are also a time to nurture and protect new beginnings.
Therein each month we're blessed with an opportunity to honour, nurture, and heal ourselves as we bleed.
Now if you’ve never connected with your menstrual cycle before, that’s perfectly normal, common even. Most women of our generation were raised in an era of menstrual shame where talking about or even acknowledging your period was not socially acceptable. Thankfully, times have since moved on and women all over the world reacquainting themselves with their cyclical nature and reclaiming their power in this experience.
If you’d like to understand the menstrual cycle further I’d highly recommend listening to the podcast 28ish days later.
As for healing postpartum through menstruation, the key is to connect with the ‘seasonal’ energy of this time because it’s akin to how all mothers should be cared for following birth.
Take a moment to reflect on your experience. How did you feel? What emotions were present for you? How were you treated by your family, friends, and care providers? How did you treat yourself? What would you do differently if you had the chance?
Simple ideas for self-mothering during mensuration
Rest as much as possible. Sleep in, take naps, and if you can make playtime floor-based activities.
Enjoy warm, cooked, easy-to-digest meals.
Drink herbal teas, hot cacao, and whole-spice chai.
Sit in sunshine, ideally in the morning,
Spend time in nature.
Spend time doing activities that make you feel good.
Call in support, especially if you have a lot of household responsibilities.
Practice self-compassion.
Now consider how you might approach your next bleed with intention? Could you ask for support, for time to yourself? Could you book yourself in for bodywork with an acupuncturist, masseuse, chiropractor or physiotherapist? Could you connect with other women, are there circles, classes, or groups in your local area? Could you treat yourself with nothing but self-compassion and understanding?
Think about how can you approach your coming bleed with the intention of mothering yourself.
Can you make peace with who you were when you first became a mother? Does she need forgiveness for her innocence? For all that she was yet to know and understand? Does she need space to grieve, to process her disappointment in others, her anger?
It might feel easier to simply band-aid over uncomfortable emotions when reflecting on your postpartum experience but if you can, be open to it being the thing that blesses you. The catalyst that began your journey.
Personally, I felt like I missed out on the opportunity to honour my becoming a mother for the rite of passage that it is. I felt like no one understood or appreciated how big it felt or how different I’d become.
It lead me to deeply desire a meaningful spiritual practice - something that helped me connect to my inner knowing and to the magic that surrounds us and it’s manifested by way of rituals.
Weaving ritual into my daily, cyclical, and seasonal life has allowed me to heal old wounds, let go of unhelpful beliefs, and feel anchored in the here and now.
Ritual is simply action imbue with meaning, so there are endless possibilities when it comes to creating your own.
For the purpose of healing postpartum through your period, I’ve written two below that I hope will resonate, in truth either could be practised at any point in your cycle but doing so when you bleed means you’re physically, emotionally and spiritually connected to the energy of early postpartum, which I believe has a magically way of supercharging your healing.
Also, remember there’s no right or wrong way to heal, the process isn’t linear, and it doesn’t always feel like you’re making progress, trust that you are.
If exploring your past experiences brings up unresolved trauma or mental health issues please seek support.
Ritual Two
Release & Replace
If you’ve been holding onto any limiting beliefs around how your early postpartum experience reflects on you this is an empowering ritual.
Gather your items; paper, pen and your journal.
Begin by making your space warm and inviting. Light candles, burn incense, diffuse essential oils, play music, whatever you find soothing.
Find a comfortable position and take several deep cleansing breaths.
Reflect on your experience of becoming a mother, what was said or not said, done or not done, felt or not felt.
How has that shaped your perception of what it means to be a mother? Have you placed any limitations on yourself?
On loose paper, write the limitations you’d like to release (for example, an inability to ask for/accept help, the need for perfection, always putting your own wellbeing last etc.)
Place the paper in the fire (making sure you use a fire-proof container and allow it to burn down and extinguish completely).
As you do, say to yourself, ‘thank you for keeping me safe, I am now ready to lovingly release you, as my body releases my blood, so too does my mind release this, I reclaim my experience and make it sacred in my heart.’
Gently close your eyes and spend a moment visualising yourself when you first became a mother.
Send her love, gratitude and acknowledgement, knowing she was the beginning of your journey of becoming. What do you wish she had known? What do you wish she had heard?
In your journal write a letter to her, tell her how proud you are of her, tell her she did an amazing job, thank her for how she blossomed, how she made way for the woman you are today.
Read the letter over again each day you continue to bleed.
Ritual One
Take a Cleansing Bath*
This ritual is particularly helpful if you’d like to let go of any emotions you’ve been holding onto since early postpartum.
Begin by making your space warm and inviting. Light candles, burn incense, diffuse essential oils, play music, whatever you find soothing.
Run a warm full bath adding Epsom salts, dried herbs or flowers. I prefer to steep my dried botanicals in a teapot and strain the ‘bath tea’ into the water once I’m ready.
Grounding botanicals that help you turn inward, calm the mind and soothe the body include lavender, chamomile, jasmine, skullcap, safflower, sage, and tulsi.
If you feel comfortable, remove any impediments to your blood flow (tampons, menstrual cups etc.) so that you can free bleed into the water.
Enter the bathwater and as you sink down, pay attention to the feeling of the water as it washes over your skin, listen to the sound it makes, and watch how it ripples and flows.
Gently close your eyes and let the warmth relax your entire body.
Spend a moment recalling everything you felt when you first became a mother, all the denser emotions and any grief you feel around how it unfolded. Now imagine all of those feelings softly seeping out of your body, mind, and spirit. Memory by memory, tear by tear, particle by particle. Allow yourself to empty completely until all that remains is space. Space for peace, space for joy, space for love. Love for yourself and love for your child.
Notice how rejuvenating it feels to let go of those emotions, for your body to be warm, for your mind to be calm, for your spirit to be cleansed.
When you feel ready, release the plug and allow all those feelings to wash away with the water.
*Adapted from ritual written by Erin at The Seasonal Soul.